Focus On Your Child

(From our May 2025 Issue)

Five of the Biggest Gifts Moms Give Their Children

By Dr. Danny Huerta

“My mom said …” is one of the most common phrases I have heard in my counseling practice. From young kids to adults, mom’s words, teachings, love, and corrections seem to penetrate deep into their soul. As a therapist, husband, and son, I’ve gotten a front row seat to witness the power of a mom’s prayers for her children, and the power of her encouraging words to instill confidence.

A mother’s impact on her child is profound. Her calm voice helps regulate her child’s nervous system. Her loving embrace and words help wipe away hurts and worries. Moms truly make a lasting imprint on their children.

One challenge mothers face are the endless demands pulling on their mind, body, emotions, and time. In addition, the grinding stressors of comparison, guilt, self-doubt, and exhaustion can disconnect moms from the joys of motherhood and can rob children of a mom’s incredible impact. Sadly, some moms wrestle with guilt, shame, and regret as they fixate on their shortcomings. This is when I remind them to let each new day be a new day. Each day comes with new beginnings, new opportunities, and new gifts.

Over the past two decades working with families, I’ve discovered five distinct life-giving gifts moms can give their children:

Self-maintenance and growth. Moms that find time to care for their mind, body, and soul tend to be the most adaptive, confident, and relational moms. Self-maintenance brings a mindset of “I care” and “I need to keep growing.” Moms with this mindset are always looking for ways to grow rather than beat themselves up for their imperfections.
Time and attention. When a mom takes care of herself, she can better manage her time and attention. When those are invested in children, they feel loved and will benefit developmentally. Sometimes those investments are just short moments of attuned attention. I’ve challenged moms to stop and notice the fine details in their children’s eyes. The strong connection fostered by this type of active noticing and eye contact can help mom step into the world of her child’s thoughts.
Affection. A mom’s affection creates a sense of security and safety and promotes resilience. Hug your child and remind them that you love them no matter what. Never underestimate the power of your calm and loving hug.
Loving correction and guidance. Children need your direction and correction. Correction can be loving even when it’s uncomfortable. The essential life lessons you teach will stay with them into their adulthood.
Affirmation and encouragement. Words penetrate deep into a child’s soul. Your genuine and true affirmations fuel your children as they learn to step into life, insecurities and all. Your children will experience loss, failures, disappointments, and rejections. This is all part of building resilience. Reassure your child that your love isn’t based on their performance. This helps them realize their value and worth in a world that can sometimes be crushing.

Thank you, moms, for what you do! I encourage you to embrace the full joys of motherhood today.

For more practical parenting tips and encouragement at each age and stage of your child’s development, visit mykidsage.com for free customized resources that you can have sent to your inbox every week.