The Power of Bittersweet Emotions
The Power of Bittersweet Emotions
SOLO PARENTING
JUNE 2025
BY Scoti Springfield Domeij
Bittersweet describes the single-parent journey. The seesaw of bitter and sweet expresses the contrasts of our emotions:
love and hate
tears and laughter
blame and forgiveness
worthlessness and purpose
Pain blinds and confuses our minds, convincing us that we’ll never heal from devastating circumstances and relationships. A quote by Rabbi Menachem Mendel resonated in my soul: “There’s nothing as whole as a broken heart.” The first time I read Mendel’s quote, my intellect failed to grasp its meaning, yet my heart resonated with the truth.
Manacled to mourning, brokenness bleeds out the toxic lifeblood of a relationship gone bad. How many oceans of tears have single parents wept? I imagine the tears shed throughout history pool in the oceans. The cold, dark, crushing force of the ocean depths and the muddied, deep-sea floor below the ocean’s surface conceals disasters accumulated over the years. Despite harsh conditions and the fight to survive, life perseveres.
We love our children and hate the circumstances that shattered our security, our families, and our relationships. We long to build a better future for our children. Can we maneuver from brokenness to wholeness?
When I moved to Colorado, I marveled at the double rainbow after a heavy spring rain. If driving, I pulled over and soaked in the beauty of the colorful intensity of a rainbow. Against the dark storm of pain and an outpouring of tears, laughter pierced through the clouds and erupted like the birth of a vibrant rainbow. The depth of the pain released me from the relational numbness of feeling neither pain nor joy. Like pain’s peace offering and blessing, the rainbow of humor and laughter rang deep and refreshing in my soul.
Blaming ourselves, or the person who hurt us, distract us from healing. The culture of blame wastes time and energy and victimizes us, chaining us to mistakes and dead relationships. I’ve planted many plants in our upper desert environment that failed to survive. When the plants I loved died, I didn’t blame the plant, I evaluated what I needed to do differently. Was the plant right for this environment, or would it flourish in another environment? Did I need to water and nurture the plant more? Forgiving others, and ourselves, frees us to become thriving individuals who water and nurture a healthier future. What do you want to model to your children? A bitter victim, or a strong person who strives to heal and to overcome adversity?
Broken relationships shatter our self-worth and identity. We question, “Who am I now?” Perhaps the real question of brokenness is—Who do I want to become? Reclaim life’s vitality and purpose through the process of choosing to become whole. A broken heart hungers for God, who’s trustworthy. He wipes away our tears and as the Great Physician, He wants to restore us and transform our pain into purpose.
Single parents relate to the tragedies and traumas ripped from the pages of our lives. The power of bittersweet experiences can expand our understanding of suffering or cement us in bitterness. Will brokenness entrench you in bitterness, or break open your heart with the power to offer hope, compassion, and healing to your children and others?
Propelled into single parenthood with a four-year-old son and a nine-month-old son, Scoti helps solo parents face their fears with courage to embrace new life. A proud Gold Star mom, she writes for Havok Journal, an online military journey. She’s been published in The New York Times, Southwest Art, Family Life Today, and other parenting magazines. © 2025 Scoti Springfield Domeij. All rights reserved.
